In footage from other dark retreats, participants emerge from the darkness in tearful ecstasy. I chose to exit on a more slapstick note. I was sound asleep when von Bujdoss clanged the bell on Monday morning. I sat up abruptly, only to discover that a full jungle had grown in my room. I sprung out of bed and began ducking left and right to avoid the huge branches swinging all around.

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