Let’s play a game. You’re Zombie Connie Mack. Let’s assume, for the sake of this exercise, that your nearly 70 years in the afterlife has given you an innate grasp of modern analytics, air travel, nutrition and a deep understanding of the collective psyche of Gen Z. They even told you about the version of WAR that doesn’t involve Roman numerals at the end.

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You’re back, baby, and for some inexplicable reason, you want to dust off the straw porkpie hat and manage in the big leagues again.

There are currently at least seven — and maybe as many as nine — managerial jobs available for the 2026 season:

Current vacancies:

Atlanta Braves

Baltimore Orioles

Los Angeles Angels

Minnesota Twins

San Francisco Giants

Texas Rangers

Washington Nationals

Might be vacant soon:

Colorado Rockies

Houston Astros

And they all want you. The first zombie manager in MLB history (assuming we’re not counting Tony La Russa’s last year with the White Sox).

Which one is the best situation? Which one is the worst? Well, Mr. Mack, sir: I’m here to help. Let’s rank these jobs from most to least desirable for a prospective manager (zombie or otherwise).

1. San Francisco Giants

At one point in 2025, the Giants had the best record in baseball.

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