Dear Roe,
I’m a man in my 40s who had to walk away from a 20-year friendship several years ago. We were very close, we lived and travelled together and we shared a lot. I thought he was my best friend for the first 10 years. Over time, as I began to find stability, he spiralled into bitterness through poor life decisions and became deeply frustrated. His jokes became cruel and he started revealing intimate, distorted details about my life to others. He even tried to sabotage the relationship with my partner, seemingly resenting my happiness. I caught him badmouthing me behind my back, mixing truths with lies to damage my reputation while pretending we were still friends.
His manipulation became relentless and confusing – I’d never experienced anything like it from another man. Though we argued and had many conversations regarding his behaviour, I stayed friends with him for quite some time through loyalty, but things only deteriorated and we met less and less. At our final meeting nearly a decade ago, he was so vindictive towards me and others, he was totally unrecognisable to the guy I became friends with.
Soon after I walked away I r
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