We’re less than one week from meaningful hockey, and yes, you’ve seen a million previews. But what if I told you this one was going to be accurate?

It won’t be, for the record. Probably not even close. But what if I told you that? Let’s pretend that I just did.

It’s time for the annual four-division gimmick, one that’s so old it stretches back to a time when the NHL having four division was considered news. The rules have stayed consistent ever since. I get four divisions: the bottom-feeders, the middle-of-the-pack, the legitimate Stanley Cup contenders and then the teams I just have no idea about. And because I enjoy making my own life difficult, that eight-teams-per-division rule is mandatory.

Advertisement

Sounds simple enough. And in theory, it is … as long as we pretend that an NHL season is ever predictable. Let’s start from the bottom and work our way up.

The bottom-feeder division

Last season, one of the eight bottom-feeders made the playoffs. Also, another one of them had five more points than the playoff team but missed out on the postseason, because the NHL makes sense.

San Jose Sharks

Last season: 20-50-12, -102 goals differential, finished dead last

Their offseason in six words: Lots of churn, another top prospect.

Why they’re here: Dom’s model says they improved more than any other team in the offseason. That’s good news; the not-so-good is that they’ve got a mile to go to be competitive. You can see the long-term vision, but right now the emphasis is still on the “long.”

Chicago Blackhawks

Last season: 25-46-11, -68 goals differential, missed playoffs

Their offseason in six words: Jeff Blashill is new, roster isn’t.

Why they’re here: Because it’s clearly where they want to be, at least for one more year. Kyle Davidson’s rebuild hasn’t been subtle and we’re still waiting to find out if it’s ultimately effective. It’s doubtful that we’ll get that answer this year, as the Hawks seem content to punt the last season of Connor Bedard’s rookie deal on yet another lottery season.

Seattle Kraken

Last season: 35-41-6, -17 goals differential, missed playoffs

Their offseason in six words: New coach. New GM. New era?

Why they’re here: They’re on their third coach in the last three years, and Ron Francis is out as GM (but still involved). Lane Lambert and Jason Botterill both had tough first NHL stints, and both probably need this to go well if it’s not going to be their last shot. They might find that success in Seattle, but I don’t see a path to it this season.

Nashville Predators

Last season: 30-44-8, -62 goals differential, missed playoffs

Advertisement

Their offseason in six words: No “offseason champions” banner this time.

Why they’re here: I’ll admit I didn’t see last year’s disaster coming, so maybe there’s rebound potential here that I’m missing, too. But the gap they have to make up is large, and Barry Trotz didn’t do a ton to start bridging it. Andrew Brunette sure feels like a guy who’ll either be a Jack Adams finalist or looking for work by the holidays.

The Predators had an unexpectedly abysmal 2024-25, and it won’t be easy to meaningfully jump up the Central Division standings. (Luke Hales / Getty Images)

Buffalo Sabres

Last season: 36-39-7, -22 goals differential, missed