You want your child to enjoy football and to learn to manage conflict and disagreements in the world. Photograph: Getty Images

Question

I am a mother of a nine-year-old son and he loves football. He began playing for a local team recently and, initially, I was delighted – the coach is a lovely man and the other volunteers are all very fine people.

For background, my own family is one of girls and so I had no experience of, or knowledge of, football as we were all more focused on music and drama growing up. I am horrified at what goes on at matches, and I am mostly talking about the spectators, who are probably other parents.

I was at a game a few weeks ago and a player pushed another player to the ground (off the ball, as

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