The phrase “he read classics at Oxford” makes someone sound like a proper gentleman—until you realize that tweedy brainiac had his nose in Pliny the Elder’s account of Empress Messalina’s duel with the realm’s most industrious prostitute, engaged in “continuous intercourse, night and day,” finally topping off at 25 gents in one go. (This golden nugget of classical lore was reenacted in the BBC television series I, Claudius, of all places—one of the more “feels like homework” productions of the last 50 years.)

A powerful city run by capricious rulers who favor bloodsport, deluding the masses, and expanding their influence with brute force through a vast network of empire? Well, enough about Hollywood, let’s talk about ancient Rome!

A powerful city run by capricious rulers who favor bloodsport, deluding the masses, and expanding their influence with brute force through a vast network of empire? Well, enough about Hollywood, let’s talk about ancient Rome!

The phrase “he read classics at Oxford” makes someone sound like a proper gentleman—until you realize that tweedy brainiac had his nose in Pliny the Elder’s account of Empress Messalina’s duel with the realm’s most industrious prostitute, engaged in “continuous intercourse, night and day,” finally topping off at 25 gents in one go. (This golden nugget of classical lore was reenacted in the BBC television series I, Claudius, of all places—one of the more “feels like homework” productions of the last 50 years.)

For well over a century, film producers have been infatuated with Rome. It’s easy to see the appeal—the setting has all the depravity, sex, and violence that gets butts in seats, but you can also slap on a c