Dear Roe,
I am a gay 25-year-old and find myself at a crossroads with my boyfriend of five years, who I have lived with for two years. My partner is Type A and keen on reaching life’s conventional milestones, while I am Type B, neurodiverse, and move at a slower pace. In the last two years I have gotten hints that our trajectories are not compatible. For example, he has recently voiced a want to adopt, while I want to find purpose in a craft, and by caring for my parents.
We both feel stuck because of my lack of direction. We went to couples therapy which provided initial benefit, but as I later attended individually I felt lost in game-plans I didn’t believe in or resented.
Recently, my partner was meant to go for drinks with a colleague and I brought up that he seemed guilty upon getting ready. He confessed that he had complicated feelings towards this guy, who has a girlfriend. He apologised, saying he was unsure if this was a crush or if he wanted to be like him, but admitted to going out of his way to get closer to him. We all get crushes and I accept this, but it seems to speak to an impasse.
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