Fifa president Gianni Infantino at last week's draw for the 2026 World Cup that took place in Washington. Photograph: by Jim Watson/AFP via Getty Images
The 2026 Fifa World Cup Draw: a show all about a very special individual called Johnny Infantino.
There was Johnny the Hypeman, reeling off his familiar patter: “104 Super Bowls”, “Official supplier of Happiness to Humanity”, “You call it Soccer, but in the rest of the world, we call it Football!”
There was Johnny the Comedian, bantering with Rio Ferdinand in a pre-recorded sketch show. That short item was unexpectedly revelatory: how could anyone have thought including it in the show would be a good idea? Here was clear evidence that we are dealing with a maniac.
Most of all, there was Johnny the Toady, which is Johnny’s most natural form, fawning on president Trump and to a conspicuously lesser extent on president Sheinbaum of Mexico and prime minister Carney of Canada.
Johnny presented Trump with the inaugural Fifa Peace Prize, which took the form of a fascinatingly weird dull-gold trophy featuring a small globe being clawed at by hands that – you somehow know – are being thrust upwards from the soil of a freshly-dug grave.
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