6 Signs You Have A 'Velcro Child'

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It’s natural for parents to want to be close to their kids, both emotionally and physically. But there’s an increasingly popular term to describe when that closeness crosses into something more limiting: “velcro parenting” ― and, by extension, a “velcro child.”

“Velcro parenting occurs when parents stay constantly physically and emotionally close to their children,” clinical psychologist and “Pod Candy” podcast host John Mayer told HuffPost. “Thus the parents often step in and intervene ‘for’ their children, even before their children experience their own needs.”

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This parent-child dynamic typically comes from a place of love, but it’s ultimately less about attentiveness and nurturing and more about anxious hyper-involvement that stifles independence.

“A velcro child is one who clings emotionally, mentally and physically to their parent for reassurance, direction or comfort,” said clinical psychologist and author Jenny Yip. “The over-attachment interferes with a child’s ability to build confidence, frustration tolerance, independent problem-solving skills and resilience.”

Importantly, child development specialists stress that secure attachment and velcro parenting are not the same thing. Secure attachment helps children feel safe enough to explore the world independently, whereas velcro parenting keeps that tether so tight that exploration feels impossible without a parent right beside them.

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So how can you tell the difference between a child who simply wants closeness and one who may be struggling with over-attachment?