‘Most people are thinking about themselves’: Inspiring women share their life lessons

Time travel, sadly, has not been invented yet but if you could go back in time and give advice to your younger self what would it be? In this special feature to mark International Women’s Day, we’re celebrating the power of hindsight. The best wisdom is hard-earned, accumulated through challenging experiences and mistakes many of us made on a loop before finally learning valuable life lessons. We asked a range of influential women what advice they would give their younger selves.

‘Do not cut your own fringe’

Caitlin Moran, writer

Do not cut your own fringe, do not trust a loved-one to cut your fringe, and remember that life always divides into just two categories: 1. things that are fun AT THE TIME. And 2. things which AT THE TIME are terrible but which later make future, incredible anecdotes. And this all works out perfectly, because FUN is what your life is SUPPOSED to be, but it’s all the anecdotes that make you who you are.

‘Most people are thinking about themselves’

Catriona Crowe, writer and activist

Try not to be self-conscious. Most people are thinking about themselves, not you. Read real books. Cherish your friends.

‘You will be whole again. Not broken’

Lavinia Kerwick, activist and sexual abuse survivor

I want you to know some things. That you will be okay. That you will not be carrying this guilt and shame forever. It is not yours. It never was. You will come home to yourself again. You will feel safe again. The rape will always be part of you but you will find the space and grace to live alongside it. You will be whole again. Not broken. You are loved. You are beautiful. You are needed here.

‘Women are stronger than you realise’

Anne Enright, author

Women are stronger than you realise and men more fragile than you currently think they are – this still does not mean they should get all the gravy.

‘Value and nurture your friendships’

Caoilfhionn Gallagher, human rights lawyer

First, you’re stronger than you know. Teenage me would not believe I could cope with all the things which were to hit me in the years ahead. But often we stumble upon our strength because we have no choice.