Blood, sweat and tears: What it took to finally change my view of fitness to shed 30kg

In The National's new series, writers explore ways in which they have pushed themselves, mentally, emotionally or physically, and reflect on what the experience has taught them

Finding comfort in fitness and routine was not on my bingo card for this year. Neither was signing up for my first run, or having my doctor tell me my blood work has produced the best results I have had in about a decade.

Growing up larger than other children in my school was hard. The bullying not only left me with low self-esteem and self-confidence, but also affected my academic performance. Many times, it was also the reason why few were friends with me; no one wanted to be seen with the “fat girl”.

My parents, to their credit, tried everything they could to get me to lose weight so that I could lead a better-quality life and reduce my chances of experiencing health issues as an adult.

I was signed up for several classes, tried fat-burning treatments at medical clinics, and had my food portioned out, alongside yo-yoing on several fad diets. But because my heart was never in it, I did not see any through. If anything, it made me hate exercising even more. Even though my parents had the right intentions, to my immature mind, it made me feel as if I was being told to change because I was not good enough the way I was.

As a morbidly obese adult with an emotional eating problem and no will to enter a gym, I did, sadly, develop some medical issues.