The price of love: dating, debt and the awkward talk about money

First dates can tell a lot about people's approach to money, which will be important in any lasting relationship. Photograph: iStock

Money can be the third wheel in a romantic relationship. There’s the worry of how much should you spend on a first date, and should you split the bill? Is there a right time to ask how much your lover earns? And if you’re financially incompatible, is the relationship doomed?

A household can’t run on chemistry alone, and you won’t buy a house together with vibes. Spending habits, attitudes to debt and earning will all materially influence your life together.

Financial compatibility can be a big predictor of whether a relationship sticks or falls apart. It all starts with the first date.

A first date can provide clues about financial compatibility. In the early days, lovers can fret about the signals their spending habits send. Will going budget-friendly come off as stingy or sensible? Does splitting the bill give their partner the ick? Or will a big gesture set false expectations?

The tack you take, and your date’s reaction to it, can indicate a lot about your attitudes to money.

One thing is for sure: going beyond your means will create mounting anxiety over time.

“The key to dating without financial stress isn’t about sticking to a rigid euro amount, but understanding your wider finances and setting realistic boundaries,” says Eoghan O’Hara, Ireland country head with online savings platform Raisin.

“There’s no universal rule for what you should spend on a date, but having some structure can help prevent costs creeping up,” says O’Hara.