Monday

Itโ€™s here, at last, the moment weโ€™ve been waiting for: Wuthering Heights discourse! Officially released in the UK this Friday, Emerald Fennellโ€™s movie adaptation of Emily Brontรซโ€™s novel features the biggest female star in the world (Margot Robbie), the second-biggest male star (Iโ€™m putting Timothรฉe Chalamet ahead of Jacob Elordi, donโ€™t fight me), and Fennellโ€™s unique writing and directing style that gave us so many memorable moments in Saltburn. On Monday the flag goes up and weโ€™re off!

Letโ€™s start with the nice stuff; itโ€™ll take less time. Still cleaving to the counterintuitive, New York magazine gave the film a thumbs up for being โ€œsmooth-brainedโ€, โ€œincredibly moistโ€ and Fennellโ€™s โ€œdumbest movieโ€, which, the writer assured us, also happens to be โ€“ wah-wah โ€“ โ€œher best to dateโ€. The Hollywood Reporter judged it โ€œpulpy, provocative, drenched in blazing color โ€ฆ and resonantly tragicโ€, while the Atlantic went for โ€œa heaving, rip-snortingly carnal good time at th

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