Monday
The hunt is apparently on in London for the German hairy snail. Okay. I have an idea. Why don’t we NOT search for anything called “the German hairy snail”? In fact, I have an even better idea – why don’t we not search for any kind of “hairy snail”. I would go even further and suggest not searching for anything “hairy” at all because that is second only to “mucus” in the list of world’s worst words. But I will settle for not searching for the thing that unassailably evokes the two in grotesque combination.
Except, it turns out – the German hairy snail (hereafter known as the GHS because, honestly, with the best will in the world, I simply CANNOT) is only hairy on its shell and, most crucially, is only the size of a fingernail. And it has apparently been here since Neolithic times – though surviving now only in tiny patches along th
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